An act of love.

And it is not understood...........asking for nothing and accepting the help....real help I felt within........my awareness of it does not change two things........I do not consider inner light as a sex partner and electronic eves-dropping and general obfiscation on the computer by one group to another causes permenent damage.I love but I will not use love to excuse fear..Perhaps I ought write what you would have done if there was more available in arcane communications you perhaps I would have explained what you would have done??????? no........But i asked quite nicely to please not and you feel its my fault.And you have no faith in me....same reaction every-time and i know why.I believe its your wish to get better.......I believe you want me too.And you would be completely honest rather than go through fear and hassle.I did not ask to speak to you but how many times???????? I asked you to recognize that how you communicated was making me unwell.That could lose it to the hospital.Or Die.Your answer will remain between us.Because I know what love is.I made no assumption about " april"...none.Just MY memories and knowledge.She is very good at what she does.I mean the one with the other name but I also could mean the one with the different name.You need not worry.I asked you to please alter that if even to a degree.Yopu needn't been the one...............many people have contradictory sides of their selves.I feel so sweet because i stand by you and proved it.You needn't put on a show for me.I don't know you well enough to say I am sure your options are simple regarding me.I will do my best not to have some problem comes up.I am also going to alter this situation because it has to.and you too.I felt your intention also in april ritchies vibes...............quite. Perhaps its the other way around for her..............This is love but the choices are yours.I will not do what you think more than likely. After all that still self righteous?????????????//your right i'm wron .I won't write pems fo stop doing that......stop. poetry?. spirit wrote it.........its about spirit. Spirit comes often through people.... if i wrote a poem for someone I would want to let them know.Your heart tells you not to just be your heart..............read these poems to me in person.Everytime thats ubject comes up you seem either suspicious or angry. I wonder if you think i would do all that as dumb as you think I must be to go through the dumb shit I did.It was not a joke with me to laugh at that situation.Papa raised me to only do that after all avenues are exhausted.Its a long walk.I will have time to listen to poetry.....i have these poems in my heart .......i feel this great love in my heart.I do not wish to wontonly hurt someone.I am concerned about my feelings for a woman and not obtaining her.I did not think I would have made it here this long for a few reasond.................IT DOESNH'T MATTER THAT YOU THINK ITS NOT AUTHENTIC OR AS BAD IF IN FACT YOU DID.This is a love deal only....no more room............I am not a bully .I'm wild and loud and a wise acre know it all.I'm a little insensitive and i'm slow.I doubt it fear that stopped you from squaring this.....maybe.....I always give you the bennifit of doubt.I know I think mostly good about you.Thje stuff on the computer is your lie to tell them all in case...but you know what you did i do not blame you......we messed up.I have surmised you want me to take care of this by going that way.But perhaps i'll realize new stuff.I did not mean to hurt you like that....... I will say it again... Are you sure??????? Thats one way to run........All because you think all i want is to take advantage and have what I want. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I have lived with that for a long time but a little for what seems like a lot.Whatever anyone says............I think it would be better to whistle and wave to ease that painful misunderstanding causing trouble in peoples lives.Thats what the so called adult does ........its not as bad as you think.it serves who you say you do in fact.ButI know you not to cosider this that way.How many years????? And you purely doubt me....your purelay angry perhaps. PLEASE WILL YOU PLEASE ????? I think the earth wants this cleared up and I rather deal with it on our own terms.. No faith if you think I'm planning to thoughtlessly mess up and drag someone with me.I shut up.....I do not bring it up................oh....i forget....I recognixed you sent me a gift inside.I said it.....you can't or won't hear it......but its a simple act compared to what you do if you feel its weight keeps returning on it.Lets make the world a better place one aqt a time so what.You have spoken everyword to express diddsain towards me it seemed at time.I do not know you to say that.You needn't remember me now....I will protect you if the subject comes up ,I'l tell your rap......."it takes two to tango.As you are done with me what meant the compter and chinese food. BY THE WAY GOOGLE SEZ I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO THIS SITE????????????i will not ask you why you let me do this. I sense you would rather not alter your behavior or perhaps need help.I beleieve you are helping me now.I do not c how you could like me. I mostly keep my mind and heart open.........bet you get that way too.Do you know what looks wimpy tp people? even though it oughtn't be that whilst learning.and i expect.....I accept no material nothing....I expect no nothing but simple humanity even for three minutes.Used to be i did not even thin k it would have to be you.I told you ....i do not blame you its not your fault.............. you do not feel me? who am I . have fun and drink one for me or whatever.........meditate i wish and hope for the best for people I know.Simple silly human that i am.lots to write and i am a little underthe weather to do it.I know what you will do. and .....remember no need for that its not there yet.....but something has to be squared more importantly then anything right now.A K A how bout some creative tension to write even more just for a few minutes and whatnot.