Its Endemic

The endless ways to say something or not by the accident of an ill conceived plan or lack of one.I wrote several things about joy just previously and it stuck to me that whatever joy is it has nothing to do with some off-putting idea that you " get " (laughable already) something when someone takes something.As for the other context in which I spoke of joy I know that as a truth beyond people.Its coincidental that I used those words because I know that's a conclusion one will reach about those words.But I say those words do not come out of a hat.I sort of understand what John Lennon meant when he said that he based most of his songs on imagined scenario's.He said "I'm a loser" and " You've got to hide your love away" were his first songs about himself.I think I speak for others if I should say that many are impressed by the songs of the east that sing of romantic love and love of the divine simultaneously.The poems of Rumi and Kabir as well as Quali music are that way and if you like it its possible to experience something I can only describe as divine.Following the progression of thoughts and possibilities that stem from this as an idea sounds like a headache for a good reason. I started hearing very strange things in popular music,the experience having been one fit to be written as fiction.I think and feel that a well crafted song written along these lines proposed is often the winner.I will leave it to the reader to consider the songs they like as to whether its so.Nusrat ali kahn was all that all the time but I could recite many familiar names.For bizarre reasons I went cookoo seeing the Divine in everything which can become a pernicious psychosis with a small grain of truth in it, which causes a lot of suffering.At least that's how I felt and I was sure I didn't want to live that way.I had examples of people who did not choose to accept it or at least that's what I thought.It takes a longtime to reform oneself properly.First off is doing it or having it occur as authentically and naturally as possible.I like to think of pitfalls as friends because as long as I fall in to them this makes it less sinister.Also " Tests". " Your being tested........" ; Nonsense, because that makes no sense to me.That's all I can say.If I'm alone then so be it but I can't believe in some hocus pocus being running around consciously testing me. If one goes to a psychiatrist and says " I'm God and so are we all" they get tagged with " Magical thinking", but if you say " I'm Jesus and only I'm Jesus" eyebrows will certainly be raised.My dad made a brilliant comment on modern psychiatry which was that you will be called crazy if you tell them what your thinking or you will be paranoid if you don't.A smart man.http://www.indranet.com/spirit/claudio.html I havn't watched things with him on you tube but this dude has some incredible things to say in a thoughtful kind way.He has some sensible and original ideas about the workings of the mind-soul-body that are very plausible.Without getting in to it mostly because I haven't looked at it 4 so long,I will always recall what he had to say about the necessity of allowing parts of oneself to express themselves.He went so far as to say certain actions are necessary in getting these things expressed because the prognosis of those who don't in his experience was bad.That's a vague memory of mine and not the words of Naranjo but what he wrote was something to that effect.As I recall he seamed to indicate that some have to use extraordinary means to tap in to it and be uninhibited enough to express that side.The words I wrote in latin were not superficial to me and I have felt that way for many years.I write them almost as if they were to myself because they are coded to be personal and to the unknown principle.It doesn't come out of a hat and I have been writing it for many years in my solitude.Its simply a soul call.I furnish myself with the consideration of making love to a soul entirely.The less physical I can consider this the more EXCITED I become(quite literally) which I find conclusive.The love poems and songs I refer to previously suppose that god is wanted close but is, or was far away while the love generated by feelings for a woman can also be generated this way from a man or woman inclined towards loving along this romantic view which is a little wanton and I think a feminine point of view I have.I am transported by it and those words consoled my heart to write.I know they will never mean anything to anyone but me and one other person sometime someplace but that is potentially everybody;And, if it were now it wouldn't be here and it wouldn't be now.I hate to say I'm slow but it looks that way to me.Still I can say now that someone gave me a perfect idea to express something of myself through an unusual lens.The idea of them being spoken to no one does not exist for me and only heightens my sense of an ecstatic love with no barriers based on matching souls that escape human concerns in the act of making love through it all.Something that can only obtain itself through the auspices of the unseen person behind the curtain whom I endeavor to pay no attention to.Somehow I doubt this is not familiar to anyone reading this.