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what someone says they wan't often means what they plan on pretending to look for because they don't want it and nothing is good enough.The one who expresses the opposite by word or action is often the one who is truly desirous.If something someone does causes an aversive reaction thats common in others I check it out to see why.often what people say bothers them about something has to do with themselves,nothing is more this way then intimacy and what people embrace.I found who deserves what I can give because they need it most and scream that out in what they do and what they say.Thats what I experience when I see them I won't waste what is dear to my nature and integral to who I am on someone who does not want it and I don't ever want to do it again.I chose to be with someone who would never accept what I can give on a real level for complicated reasons but they seem irrelevant to me now.When someone tells me something that is screaming that it does't want intimacy.............. I find its usually wanted ..... but only from someone who see's the need in them through the mask of protection to their full expression some of which looks very sexy when hidden................