a short note on "monarch" "control" or "slave" systems

Lets be clear.These methods are cross socio-economic bounds.Where their is an abuse of power due to the de-facto ability to control another human these methods always are in play.It is an odd human characteristic and one worth study from an egalitarian stand point.Empires come and go as do fortunes and great power.There is no conspiracy here.If these symbols emblematic of "monarch" training exist in the medium expressing our culture, the person doing it is more than likely unaware that nature is exposing itself blatantly.I surmise this signifies the deathnell of abusive cycles and once again proves the power of art to bring about change on an esoteric level.I just happen to know about this subject and find it very irresponsible for someone to willy-nilly claim an artist is a vehicle for the promulgation of a very nasty but cheap form of abuse widely experienced.I am embarassed to say I have a library of pdf's on this subject.The artist in question is remarquable for exactly the opposite reason.Clearly she is belittling it ,and if she knows it or not is not germain to humanity as a whole.There is no conspiracy but it is a toubhy subject.I,who blab a lot,,,,,,,,,would never have considered writing about this though I could have.Someone had to bring it up though.I will be the official lay arbiter on this subject.I shall upload the pdf's to my google docs/reader when i get um next week.

A daydream caught in confluence

Words can not be spoken to when the words are fleshless and without life.It seems odd to say so but some people say goodbye to someone they have never met or communicated with.I saw words that made me pause........if these words were hypothetically directed at me and I could direct a response to the writer it would be thus......."You understood me through your eyes without as yet the capacity to be open to the actual essence and intention I had at the back of my mind.I NEVER care to know anyone who does not wish to know me simply because it is masochistic.I think it is unhealthy to cling to the rather ill compulsion to want to be around people who do not wish to be around oneself.Likewise shunning those who like us.I spent some years getting over that and recently I had an attachment to my daydreams that brought me to that unhealthy place.I realize I would never blame someone for thinking I was some hungry primate wanting company.If one were to say i'm happy for you there is but one thing.In this last year I had to once again hold my heart open in hell to be in heaven.Because of my careless attitude There is a loss of desire that frankly ,is more than a man my age should feel.Time shall tell all and I am not attached to any outcome.Perhaps someone alone would be happy for me as it is likely if I stay away 3 months,all human intimacy between family and significant other will be NULL.Its easier to have no family or support network when busy and/or stacking paper.Ted turner said that.I love and learned to accept other peoples love even though they did so in their way to the capacity they naturally expressed.Its true that I harbor strange ideas about lovers and healing but believe that you know the truth if you thought someone was so one dimensional that meeting you was their raison d'etre.Its ok because after all......its all about you boo,and....its all about me.I learned a long time ago that opening my heart in hell put me in a heavenly state.I knew that 15 years ago.I did not want to go through it again.The smallest application of reality in the personal life situation i went through would have relieved me of a type of mental suffering so debilitating i prayed i would be the only ever to feel it.i would not wish it on anyone.i beleive death would be preferred by many who are identified with there consensus reality place in the world. Sometimes I mention my past in context of present unrelenting emotional or mental pain.Hey.......if you drop a baby the damage is done.........so your right.Once you suffer chakra damage from being abused as a child its done.Why add that to a vain attempt to curry someones understanding.My heart tells me something that calls me to be free in desire,in aversion,through rejection.How could the conversations and attempts to socialize not be taken as discomforting at times.Concluding to force change and be at peace even though my solitude will be my companion mostly is preferable to a calcified unfulfilled life.I did this before but knew myself much less at the time.Mostly I care for others but not dependig on whether they care for me.It remains a sign of ill health to lament someone who you like but does not find you worthy for whatever GOOD AND PERSONAL reason.Even Jesus said no!(often).Respect for boundaries is a corner stone of truly loving action.Love comes from the unexpected and it has never disappointed as long as I was free of expectation.seeing whomever happy and always admired by me even though I know so little about people .They seem to know me less. in case ,I wanted to say hypothetically that if you spoke to me I would respond.I am not insulted and free of childish daydreams and expectations.Those day dreams kept me alive through hard times but I feel complete on the level. I feel love for some people and warm my heart with my ideas of their well being i hope for them.Whatever someone thinks of me is only sometimes relevant. not needed but always sympatico and filled with awe in between my foul mouths utterances.Hypothetically im happy for you to because ,whomever you are , you are free to forget my existence.It will take me a while but I shall forget to(I love people in front of me in favor of those far away and unknown but life does its own and stay free of expectation. THANK YOU.

personal considerations aside we are the best here in NYC because....

We insist on building a mosque at ground zero.The mayor insists.We are the very best of this nation representing the highest principles while we go about making our paper or whatnot.I was asked by many folks from elsewhere why we act so snobby in the north east.I concurred and said that its true,that we are so bad that way we consider the most ill bred among us to be better than those from other regions.Not very nice of us though and I do not agree though raised that way.fact is that if 9-11 happened in most other cities there would have been reprisals.The first thing we said on 9-12 was our sorrow is not a call for revenge.Most of us felt that adding more death to the horror of the 9-11 fatalities was abhorrent.Sara Palin is no American if she does not believe a mosque belongs there.I am a tad over the top myself on that score.I always thought as a Jew that I should lay flowers to represent forgiveness at an SS monument in Germany.If no Jewish person can forgive then there is no Jewish people.Our core belief is to not do a hateful thing to another that we find hateful-Hillel the elder was the dude and gee-he's-us preached this old man's teaching making Christianity quite Jewish it seems to me.The quote about lighting a candle in mere reality is by Carl Jung by the way.I do not like him much as he was very supportive of the eugenics movement.I am SOOOOOOOOO lucky.I was taking anti bionics when the brown recluse got me and my friend had antibiotic horse salve which once applied made the spider bite throw up itself.I knew i would eventually get bit because the odds say that the more you do something (like camping in the deep wilderness) the more likely things will happen.I did a bang up job convincing myself not to write much any more except a few dry things.I spoke with a young ( 21 ) woman or rather she spoke to me and somehow she completely understood and made it known she understood the sides of myself that cause me to feel needy of being listened to.Other people around that age also seemed to ease this rather mechanical emotion.Also she said (your going to love this) that since I was clearly not a hater of women could I explain why all men she meets (except for angelic me!!!!!) are women haters to which I replied that many work this out through conscious effort while most do not make the effort early enough in life which makes it harder as one gets a bit older.Its never to late to overcome as long as you do not have a serious personality disorder.I have found many hetero women haters have personality disorders.Frankly it took extraordinary means for me to do so as I had unresolved and unrecognized anger.I never used to express my feelings and this turned in to a mess and worse when I became unfettered in expressing them.You would not believe it but I used to not complain much ever and attended 6 different 2 week silent meditation retreats!Now I have completed a ten year period of spewing the blather spun by fretful peregrination and general folderal.I know there are people who can understand me in a way the people I know intimately can not.That gave me peace.Once again some smart psychologist started picking on me wanting to know why I had such pronounced sttd or whatever.This was at main circle.I said I was trying to stop relating to the labels and required no more diagnosis but he wanted to know if i was in the military.........no.......jail.....no..........serious accidents......no......"oh, I see, you've been beaten down so much you just react to everything traumatically thus ruining good chances.I winked and said you got it.Only an octogenarian could deliver the next line so matter of fact a manner when he replied "oh,some of us get free of that as we get older but often not and so must just get used to the condition".He liked my plan to correct it by going where economic bs can at least be removed from the menu for a time allowing me to develop healthier habits in my
reactions and outlook towards the life I have left.I made a rather dumb and perhaps insulting to someone comment on u tube about detroit and wound up running in to all my friends from the Detroit area spending much time with them.Truly a very special breed of people all of whom eventually seem to at least tolerate me.They told me all about detroit blah blah i'm going for a walk............cheers! and tables

ON COFFEE AND COMPLETELY EXTRANEOUS THINGS....

Coffee is a very important medicine to take to protect oneself from free radicals.I separate my coffee consumption from caffeine consumption.A bot disgusting maybe but my normal od a full bodied cup of coffee with a heaping tablespoon of raw grounds which I mostly swallow.I find taking caffeine in coffee form is a racy experience hard to correct by measurement for obvious reasons.Once again the taking of "safety breaks" as needed is included.No content is worth manure with out context.The story of my life is comprised of content which means nothing with out context.I thought it interesting to fuddle the context part in my blog posts and whatnot but that is actually how people having a bout with disingenuous confusion act.Anything out of context is taken there and many take things or rather make things out of context to form and support their prejudice,bias and judgments.How does all this relate to what?This is my public blog where My mission is to simply write some personal thoughts that may be incitement as its hit or moss and always clear ans with context.If someone wants to follow me on twitter than they ought to have the interest and ability to find me here;And,as I am never responded to authentically and I assume no human being worth being called that would harass me or be worth recognizing when writing.The context here is that I had received harassing insults here and there by some poor sod I could easily cure.Life is better without feelings of ill will period the end.

Caffein as a medical alternative:One persons experience

I awoke at 6:15 this morning "sans" alarm clock.I gave myself two 75 mg caffeine or whatever that brand specifies.I used my natural physical chemical reaction to a rather weak co mixture with that which releases cannabonoid as a stimulant for the other mental faculties caffeine misses.At 8:30 I took another tab of caffeine with one low dose clonnapin.I just now took my final dose of caffeine and final clonnapin for the day (unlike vallium,clonnapin stays in the body a long time while it is debilitating to take over a long time in way vallium is not.I have been given as much vallium as i wanted (i did not) since 1977.I feel that carefully administered tramadol would have been best as it seems to correct thought disorders most efficiently with a slight yet still argued over addictive quality.Caffeine is key to forgoing the taking of harder " pharmies" like ADDERAL for example which I can only take if someone administers it daily with no exceptions.I am not proud of this.This mixture is also an alternative to those using hard opiates as a stimulant to get in to something other than the phocus on obsessive and compulsive thoughts and feelings.THIS IS A DISCLAIMER,THIS IS NOT VALID MEDICAL ADVICE.THIS IS MERELY MY EXPERIENCE.

some personel observations to share

"as far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in mere being".As a man who's main philosophy in life ,in the end, is to say "what for" and "why should I",I am satisfied with this statement.I say it like this:The measurement of a successful life is the degree in which a person experiences awe at existence each and every day.That is why I do not subscribe to a political view at all and I am neither an anarchist.I am a factual realist.I peruse the pattern of facts I have observed for 30 years and look for patterns.For example,I believe The president will be re-elected provided some way out scandalous activity does not occur.The only thing to stop that is if the republicans fail to win back the house at least.BORING CRAP EH? I agree.I have decided to record some of my recent journey for myself, when I am somewhere else down the road to use as perhaps some insight.Nothing to tricky here as you will,frankly,find copious examples of disingenuous content lacking...........(the answer is)................context.I found myself some time ago writing from a stand point of what I thought someone else thought of me.And as every successful person in any field of endeavor evolving money making deals knows,one ought not bargain with oneself as one can get short changed and waste valuable time.I was not writing to make money but the same rule applies.I had the trip I always wanted.I also had a therapeutic facing I administered myself.I knew I needed to clear the cob webs in earnest.I lost my calcified shell by reverting to a childlike state where i relived some of the horror.Some of these found release through the horror turning to laughter.What was essential I new was to not push the incrementally bittersweet quality of life away.That is , do not be averse to what the boooda called "duhka".I also gained back the 7 pounds of missing muscle and fat I require to think clearly.I had several life changing conversations with two soul mates who knew as I did that we need never see each other again but would honor the exchange by incorporating the ideas in to our being.One was a 21 year old lesbian(also one of the most beautiful woman at gathering of the tribes;And, an 80 something year old army psychologist who diagnosed me perfectly and was a bit cold about it but loving just the same.All in all all is well as I allowed myself to be a complete a hole by mimicking the mantra my mom taught all my life until i realized even though it was in me and tortured my slightly obsessive mind it was crazy and negative to express.......that is to express ones desire to somehow manage to off oneself.More than anything in this world,for myself,I prayed to be free of this and I have to thank my trip 4 that.I sis not have a feeling of being left out,rejected or need to foist my expression on others.Have you ever felt that way? That a large and palpable weight is off you?I turned around and faced myself and found a very naive and innexperienced person.One of my often expressed opinions in certain circles is that anyone younger than me by at least 20 years de facto knows something I don't.I hate hierarchy especially in the arts but also overall.I detest people telling me how it is or how to be in any know it all passionate and non humorous way.This post itself is an example of how my life is often a struggle to consistently say,do and act in agreement.I do tend to love what I hate and hate what I love but not to far in to being compulsive in my actions in a hateful and destructive way as some.That we must learn each in our own way and own time seems reasonable to me.New subject................................why anyone wants to c my twitter is insane to me unless they know something about me i suppose;But,doctors???????????I will no longer accept any followers but the very honest and up front request.Likewise no more crazy and surely messages on u tube or e mails less than very official.There is room in my life for one human who is sarcastic and narley in a surely way right now at least...................that would be yours truly! love r

nice one

http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Parachutes-Funeral-Song-lyrics-Mates-Of-State/CFF1EE56CA5ECA2A48256DDD000DF31C