wrong info

regarding "apocolypse"being somewhere to dance.Must have been a transmission problem.I was looking at some of my spaces on line and I am almost sure someone highjacked it cuz there are things that outn't to be there.Being the loccus and focal point of evil deeds that I am(according to who or what is not yet clear but just in case if its someone who knows me........I'm not a massochist like I used to be and I could not spend an iota of energy on most of the people who do not like me and get any sleep.It is fairly obvious when someone is indifferent or flat out about their disinterest or dislike of another.So.....in addition to whatever else someone wishes to write about me and seriptitiously connect to me I would like to add this.I think it is good to like those who like you while liking people who clearly dislike or are oblivious to you measures my level of dislike of myself to some degree.These simple opinions apply only to me.I have nothing worthwhile to say to another online namely because I am of the impression that other than bitter middle aged wives on aol, I can never beleive anything I read nor to whom the blurb,post or communique' is someone "having fun".I suppose I could appear to know something but don't......kinda like you met someone but they didn't know they were meeting you nor ever did but you might of thought they did.Subterfuge is not an ameteur endeavor for most of us do not want to have to remember so many lies!!!!!! Actualy interestingly during war no one in a top position thought about the germans listening in at all manner of private and public hour.They thought about what mis truths or mock events they could use or talk about to convince the germans something else was happening.Human beings seem to do this on various levels which is interesting.Whats nice is it involves no paranoia.I recall a homless man who looked bearded and crusty on sunday and then cleanly coifed in a fine suit the next day.In this regard and many others men often have more flexible and durable choices than woman.At least on paper.My heart is a muscle.I couldn't say anything 4 sure about anyone at this point.Now in my case.... my heart is a muscle and after it breaks it mends.Heart break and heart attack are often confused.You should see all the acres of land I have kept in my heart and in most case always will for people I loved and cared for but felt better not knowing me as it suited them or as I began to set up boundaries in my life as to what is acceptable on the part of someone who seemed to sincerely care and those who's behaviour sent a distinctly unfreindly manner due to there character and behaviour not matching simple healthy ideas of how people treat one another.I keep a place for all manner of people I shall alwayse love but I know what I have kept in my heart for them is just garbage to them.Point is I do not beleive in true love less but I put myself through enough heartbreak to become enured to it.This is a special prize I must have won cuz i ain't the worst sinical person at all so I feel passionate and hopefull often and Other than on a different scale no human being could ever break my heart even if I gave it to them with siverware.Its still soft, it just can not be broken. eyill be back on this cuz

oh lordeeeee

The world is certainly a mystifying place and I outn't sound sure or even be confident about in a joking matter regarding said knowledge.A little bit of pompous sanctimoneous writing attempting to be irony is much more than it seems.Enough of that.Destiny and truth as well as the immortality of beauty through the action of love was what I was thinking about recently and I realized some things about writing these somewhat pressingly relevant thoughts for me in to a work of fiction.It takes longer but not impossibly so.It is impossible for me to make someone forgive me,Even if I am innocent and did not make it rain today.There were alwayse kids in school that way,who alwayse got blamed.I did not have it the worst but I empathize with people whom I feel are being overly blamed.With this in mind I wonder.I have said hurtful things in certain circumstances in my life that deservrd an appology and I believe love means you never have to say your sorry.Sometim es I could be so mad at someone but when I see then I can never allow them to appologies too seriously and rationalize the blame being mine.I used to like people who did not like me and I suppose there are still some cases of this in my life.Whatever depth of passion I may or may not have for my like of a person who clearly dislikes me has changed over the years.My silly vocal tirades never change,alwayse in a loud deep voice if they occur making it seem worse.Its actually funny and I am happy to say people change quite a lot in some cases though even family and friends don't know.I would rather not have to be this obvious to be self-depricating to the point of ruining what I am trying to say but I am not saying I am any expert inanything;I think the opposite of love is fear.I have found this in my self in life.Others at times agree.I am the worst chess player who ever lived and I still wish I could Play .All I can write at this moment is that I meant nothing about the above statement.It seems very important to me that I say nothing.I feel this love in my body and mind that both includes and transcends other people or persons in specific.Other people can be powerful symbols for good and for our own destruction but each is at the center of their life and each their own arbitor.We make our own choices given what we know and do the best we can.To me this is a great priveledge in human life,to be given choice and destiny.This has always been a puzlement to me but as I strugled with it I began to come to the conclusion that destiny is what will happen anyway so to speak while choice is how we go through that destiny.A very wise woman many years advanced than I told me that once but I missed it at the time.The important thing is to some extent fullfill that destiny to some reasonable degree.That admits a lot about me namely I beleive In a reasonable universe which I do ULTIMATELY but not subjectively.I also am pretty sure this is a dumb way to look at things .I prefer being here now and c'ing what I get.I have never felt so certain about anything in a while and although prone to making mistakes ,still a broken clock is right twice a day......I know my own true love regardless of whether I have met,have not met, or perhaps never meet because if she were my own true love I know she must see through to her truth which I trust she will make ours in time.I must be that for or with her in whatever way I am that for her.That has to be the case if what I beleive, which goes against so much endless naysaying odds,is true.If I missed something she would see it.If I felt unforgivable she would forgive me and I would want to be there for her if it were needed.If I made a fool of myself and kept thinking about it she would laugh at its unimportance.I can not apply this to algorythms of course!!!!! No words can describe these odd feelings ......sometimes I feel pregnant!

Special "Bile" Edition-apple wrestling

BLANKETY BLANK UUUURRRRRRGHGHGHGHGHG BLECH THIS APPLE IS BETTER AT BEING INFERNAL I HAVE COME TO REALIZE.BEWARE OF SOMTHING CALLED "VUSE" IN MY OPINION.IT TAKES IT UPON ITSELF TO DOWNLOAD SOME IDIOTIC PORN.SOME OF US WERE BORN TO WATCH IT AND SOME OF US ARE BORN TO MAKE IT.EITHER WAY I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PICTURE AND A LIVING BEIING.DUMBDEE-DUMB-DUMBDUMDEEDAH.WHY DOESN'T IT DOWNLOAD SOMETHING MORE USEFUL? WHAT? OUR IMAGINATIONS ARE GONE?

Foxtrot......Tango.........Delta oops i didn't not do it as i was not thinking i was doing it again without having done it

This is pretty much the place where I write things 4 no apparent reason without being asked by anyone.I now plan to write in three places one of which will be all fiction,another 4 being extra polite and proper for socialization purposes, while yet a third,namely this blather you c b4 u.I enjoy writing a great deal but engaging life fully here and now is held in higher esteem.I am most inspired to write in the first three hours of getting up in the morning which is time 4 getting hither and thither in These parts.I realize that perhaps something is some way therefore I thence feel bound to being more considerate and sensitive to other people reading who may or may not be doing so..It is through rather extraordinary means that I am writing on this toppic.My heart is open and my mind is content.








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got an apple by grace

Yes! Finally I can feel comfortable goiinnggg on line without the endless pc junk doody.Its an old os 10 and different, so i keep typ oh ing etc bla-dee-bla-bla.Have a great day.