An act of love.

And it is not understood...........asking for nothing and accepting the help....real help I felt within........my awareness of it does not change two things........I do not consider inner light as a sex partner and electronic eves-dropping and general obfiscation on the computer by one group to another causes permenent damage.I love but I will not use love to excuse fear..Perhaps I ought write what you would have done if there was more available in arcane communications you perhaps I would have explained what you would have done??????? no........But i asked quite nicely to please not and you feel its my fault.And you have no faith in me....same reaction every-time and i know why.I believe its your wish to get better.......I believe you want me too.And you would be completely honest rather than go through fear and hassle.I did not ask to speak to you but how many times???????? I asked you to recognize that how you communicated was making me unwell.That could lose it to the hospital.Or Die.Your answer will remain between us.Because I know what love is.I made no assumption about " april"...none.Just MY memories and knowledge.She is very good at what she does.I mean the one with the other name but I also could mean the one with the different name.You need not worry.I asked you to please alter that if even to a degree.Yopu needn't been the one...............many people have contradictory sides of their selves.I feel so sweet because i stand by you and proved it.You needn't put on a show for me.I don't know you well enough to say I am sure your options are simple regarding me.I will do my best not to have some problem comes up.I am also going to alter this situation because it has to.and you too.I felt your intention also in april ritchies vibes...............quite. Perhaps its the other way around for her..............This is love but the choices are yours.I will not do what you think more than likely. After all that still self righteous?????????????//your right i'm wron .I won't write pems fo stop doing that......stop. poetry?. spirit wrote it.........its about spirit. Spirit comes often through people.... if i wrote a poem for someone I would want to let them know.Your heart tells you not to just be your heart..............read these poems to me in person.Everytime thats ubject comes up you seem either suspicious or angry. I wonder if you think i would do all that as dumb as you think I must be to go through the dumb shit I did.It was not a joke with me to laugh at that situation.Papa raised me to only do that after all avenues are exhausted.Its a long walk.I will have time to listen to poetry.....i have these poems in my heart .......i feel this great love in my heart.I do not wish to wontonly hurt someone.I am concerned about my feelings for a woman and not obtaining her.I did not think I would have made it here this long for a few reasond.................IT DOESNH'T MATTER THAT YOU THINK ITS NOT AUTHENTIC OR AS BAD IF IN FACT YOU DID.This is a love deal only....no more room............I am not a bully .I'm wild and loud and a wise acre know it all.I'm a little insensitive and i'm slow.I doubt it fear that stopped you from squaring this.....maybe.....I always give you the bennifit of doubt.I know I think mostly good about you.Thje stuff on the computer is your lie to tell them all in case...but you know what you did i do not blame you......we messed up.I have surmised you want me to take care of this by going that way.But perhaps i'll realize new stuff.I did not mean to hurt you like that....... I will say it again... Are you sure??????? Thats one way to run........All because you think all i want is to take advantage and have what I want. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I have lived with that for a long time but a little for what seems like a lot.Whatever anyone says............I think it would be better to whistle and wave to ease that painful misunderstanding causing trouble in peoples lives.Thats what the so called adult does ........its not as bad as you think.it serves who you say you do in fact.ButI know you not to cosider this that way.How many years????? And you purely doubt me....your purelay angry perhaps. PLEASE WILL YOU PLEASE ????? I think the earth wants this cleared up and I rather deal with it on our own terms.. No faith if you think I'm planning to thoughtlessly mess up and drag someone with me.I shut up.....I do not bring it up................oh....i forget....I recognixed you sent me a gift inside.I said it.....you can't or won't hear it......but its a simple act compared to what you do if you feel its weight keeps returning on it.Lets make the world a better place one aqt a time so what.You have spoken everyword to express diddsain towards me it seemed at time.I do not know you to say that.You needn't remember me now....I will protect you if the subject comes up ,I'l tell your rap......."it takes two to tango.As you are done with me what meant the compter and chinese food. BY THE WAY GOOGLE SEZ I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO THIS SITE????????????i will not ask you why you let me do this. I sense you would rather not alter your behavior or perhaps need help.I beleieve you are helping me now.I do not c how you could like me. I mostly keep my mind and heart open.........bet you get that way too.Do you know what looks wimpy tp people? even though it oughtn't be that whilst learning.and i expect.....I accept no material nothing....I expect no nothing but simple humanity even for three minutes.Used to be i did not even thin k it would have to be you.I told you ....i do not blame you its not your fault.............. you do not feel me? who am I . have fun and drink one for me or whatever.........meditate i wish and hope for the best for people I know.Simple silly human that i am.lots to write and i am a little underthe weather to do it.I know what you will do. and .....remember no need for that its not there yet.....but something has to be squared more importantly then anything right now.A K A how bout some creative tension to write even more just for a few minutes and whatnot.

Hey! Dudewomanmomladysirengal

ONE HEART um Oh Fuck..............cuz you know i wonder if you know I realize someone knows the difference between my delusional thoughts about being in relationship vrs the reality of who I'm suited best for.Lots of different ways to dance around intimacy issues and i'm a pretty fancy dancer that way.And ......you can imagine ...............when someone in a picture looks like that to me through their eyes ....and there wasn't any mind banging to it...........just eyes i last saw in a dream......................either someone is a better dr. then i realized or someone wants to get me back ......again.At least in my mind.Cuz....yes, i c and yes that cures the whole enchilada.I have a great idea this morning!!!!! lets just save the planet.simple and straight forward.I am a finicky tiger.so fucking particular only very few inspire me to work and love.Contrary to my little outbursts every other day .......i very much trust you.....i am also a tad concerned about what i put my head through and how i altered my speech in a somewhat un natural way out of self conscious horror.So, i fell right telling you some things for that and other reasons.I want to share these options i am realizing i might be forced in to but i think you might be ahead of me .I am desperate to avoid having to go all the way around to fix something that is fixed already.I'll assume i'm nuts but why is she looking out of the pictures like that?????? I mean fuck that look in her eyes I feel it...........you dig what i'm saying? and i'm getting healthier not sicker .I have to streighten out my shit and i reckon i shall, i came up with an honerable plan and i'm intending to get my messed up computer files and accounts back to something that represents the balanced me.Some things got very exagerated and that needs fixing.I am sure if what i am wondering is true i will have to glue my tail between my ass cheeks and beg for mercy and help from you sister.Can you dig where i'm cumming from?.Still....point well made.in fact i could c me having to beg several sisters who may even be quite miffed with me for their help. um gotta book a flight you know what i mean by help and you know what i do not at all meen.I think i can fix that when i get back. i reckon on park slope but I travel once i travgel.And after all i'm motivated by the typical things men are motivated by accept foolishness to do with cash and fame.That can't be ......did you do that???? would you do that.I live for the peaceful fulfilling resolution towards progressive esoteric collaboration with all concerned.If what i am alluding to is the case then I suspect my happy contented face will be catching............

typical

yea .... and i gotta do it lickity.........you know what? that sux....when you know someone could care less what you said about there birthday cuz they won't ever know how or why you cared.and they think the worst of you carved in stone.......not that it sux like as if i could change that but..............just dissmissed outright........feel free to smack me if your someone who could c me doin that sometime.I know its supposed to be that way.....just that i'm like ....like i actually feel like my two bit sentiment means something..........or is as equal too someone else.The song title made up for lots and said it all i thought.....golly gosh wang bang gee wally gosh darn gee wiz...... i'd get ostricized by ......for writting something double entendre like that. and of course thats the joke isn't it.But i reckon a monolith sometimes......no chank in the armor of the holly writ proving i am lucifer's evil twin sister.yea .... after a time people start to care....not all but it happens and LOVE is a combination of four letters.Maybe sometimes the significance people have with each other brings big joy and love has nothing to do with it PER SE'.I betcha if i did hold it so....... i couldn't cuz i'd be all commited to someone special in my life.... even though i am all slut.......doesn't mean i act on it.a monumentally honest act on daisy's part to call a song that......ok so me and daisy might not get along heck what i know its just so?...daisy may or may not of meant to have that outcome........sure did laugh at my face when i overstepped and did that ...........forget all this i just wanted to write it.I have loyalty to some people who gave up on me correctly a long time ago........i guess just that they admit they considered it for a moment and i feel indebted.I hate being complemented but i realize i need it and i need to be all gracious and honest about how much i don't want to hear that........sometimes people mean it and i reckon they deserve my thanks.i'm glad you all are present on earth.period.whatever .....some people are worth the effort to overcome my perception of my hurt or wanting to blame...........nice place to help me git to........so i just wanted to say..http://youtu.be/UnQ1Jk7Vl0M

Antithetical

ONE HEART something that is antithetical allows the world to spin.True love Absolute ... can not have sex.....you can not "do " sex with spirit.Its beyond something that does not last.They say that two is better than one but not when there is three.thank you universe. This song is just so beautifull and clear and very thought provoking.I wonder if Steve Miller was born in the Catholic faith.Someone told me they thought was Familiar to their catholic upbringing.Its one of his best songs and I never even found it before.Its very interesting extremely so.An almost impossible reality to sing in a song but he does it so profoundly well that any lover of song......and I mean a true lover of song like some ....ya get it,
.................an emo lover of song like me........would be moved by the experience so much so that its almost traumatic.I love the song that much and its just like this other tune I like in my mind in a strange way.If the change is going to come by the band Sophia is a song that I find uplifting and spiritual...............mostly this reflects the time and place I became a rocker............negative could be positive and vice versa.I still feel that way but I assumed all rockers would take that song from that bassic understanding.its a simple song about emotions and activity.Thats different......It never figured to me someone could not take it lightly even though its about death.....or life.two cool songs actually.Thats why I play music at all .Because I learn weired things about points of view while my sense of music gets turned on.......all kinds of emotions get excorcised yup.Any way....what a way to c the same thing when hearing the mirror opposite ........that was a cool heavy experience 4 me I love rock and roll

i am about to.....

today i get my pdf'thsssss from my old laptop including a ten volume set of exhaustive study on the monarch system which i don't read.And several crazy things i can't make heads or tales over exactly.I have no on line access anymore where i rest these days.I wanted to do things politely and orderly with anything regarding you but i know its not possible i will always step on your toes evident ally even when i forgo almost all on line connections in my life.Since you know me as well as you do youclearly know precisely and exactly what and how to engage me on the computer in a constructive positive and personal level.I am al ways the loser because i do not play games with hearts at least as soon as i realize the mistakes i made.I don't c what google buzz is i have been limited going on line of late i had two minutes a few days ago and google buzz se 14 buzzez and today none. I wish i new it more and all i care about is one thing.I know the type of consistency you have applied to me and i know that is not the complete you. i thought you were expressing your disdain that way. my dream? what is most important to me outside the big ones is all you all the time even scrawl its called human connection its fun and heart warming and i could learn a lot doing something positive like that..........................................i so wish for a real connection and so much do not want people forced and cajoled so iu strugle with mixed feelings try not to to conclude keep un open mind.It will abate naturally or it wil not abate Naturally;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;I wish you could read my mind.I think and i know i could be wrong but you have been honest in your expressions and i did not see it, Am i write? you would be rather a saint to releive me of this ocd nightmare my mind conjurz would you consider simpy helping me clear my mind and heart for the benifit of all sentient beings? i wish you had esp

The Cramps - Psychotic reaction

True punk blues or rather shows thes influence on punk players.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. awaited 4 som..I was starting to have one just prior.....................

I had to

erase that because it makes no sense.